I was listening to this show today talking about how many people stay in a relationship with one person, and think their soul mate got away, because of their fear of being alone, or their need for stability. The numbers were staggering.
I can not even imagine that concept. First of all. If you are not comfortable and happy with yourself and have self love, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY YOU CAN HAVE A HEALTHY LOVE FOR SOMEONE ELSE! I’m not talking you have to be in love with yourself, I’m not even sayinging you have to like everything about yourself. But, you CAN NOT hate yourself, loath yourself, abuse yourself, degrade yourself, beat on yourself. It is not healthy, nor sane. How can you love someone else in a healthy growing relationship that evolves and perservers if you hate yourself?
STABILITY MUST BE FOUND IN YOURSELF FIRST! NO ONE CAN GIVE YOU PEACE OF MIND! ONLY YOU CAN! NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE OR COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN! ONLY YOU CAN! A Partner, Significant Other, Lover, Spouse, we have in our life should only be there because we want them there! They are a part of us, a part of our soul and spirit. We can not imagine our life without them in it.
If the person in your life is not – “The One”, or “Love of Your Life”, move on and wish them well. Set them free. So they may have a chance be with the love of their life, and you can have a chance to have the love of your life. Now grant it, for some, it may be way more complex than that. I get it.
They used to call me the “runaway bride”, like the movie. But, if I couldn’t picture myself 20, 30, 40 years down road with you, I was outta/gone from there. 12 engagements later, I met “the one”. We got married after 2 weeks of dating. Our 11th year anniversay is this December. When it’s “the one”, you just know.
I loved all my exes, but they just weren’t “the one” for me. Mr. Bunches, “he’s the one for me”. It was worth the wait. Since I only wanted to say “I do” once, I knew, I would feel it. The funny thing was I wasn’t looking for him, and vice versa. But, we knew. (I think God was like ok you two, time to move it! LOL.)
Sorry for the earlier typos. I was posting very very late.